So I work in mental health. I have two jobs for the same organisation, and in one I mentor people one-on-one and help them to achieve their personal goals, and in the other I help to supervise a community centre. In both jobs I have had to do suicide interventions on a number of occasions, and I often deal with very vulnerable people. However I've caught myself doing this thing which really is in very poor taste. I've started miming committing suicide as a joke whenever I try to laugh off something bad or difficult (e.g. I have to study for this exam *bang* hahahaha). It's kind of bad...especially now I seem to have branched out into lots of methods - miming wrist-slicing, hanging, and of course - shooting myself in the head. The only consolation is that my best friend works in a family law firm and deals with custody cases and child sex abuse cases all the time - which she's also started joking about Maybe we need new jobs.
Anyway, after this pose came to me - me remorselessly miming shooting myself in the head - I decided to use this concept as an excuse for a whole bunch of practice. Practising poses, anatomy, digital art, messing around with Hari's character design, nekkid anthros...many practise. Also, this is how I would love to have my hair, if I didn't have to look respectable for job interviews. My backgrounds are still about as basic as you can get.
It breaks my heart to hear whenever someone commits suicide. I once had suicidal thoughts, but I don't ever think I'd be allowed to go through with it. I hope you get better, people often joke to prevent bad things from coming, I'm a little worried about you.
Thanks for the interesting comment!
Mmm, suicide is something that was talked about a lot with me in 2011 and 2012 because I was working in mental health, and had contact with a lot of people suffering illnesses like depression, bi-polar and borderline personality disorder - all of which often involved suicide ideation. I was also living with someone who was suicidal off and on, and it was quite stressful - particularly when I was called upon to do a few interventions.
I think for me, suicide isn't so much a moral issue. I'm not especially religious, and I find the idea of hell and heaven and anything in between a little hard to believe in, and I struggle to understand how someone who is so desperate and so ill that the only solution they can contemplate is taking their own life could then be "punished" further than they already have been by being sent to purgatory.
I mean, when I have had clients who have been sexually abused as children, who have psychologically abusive partners and families, who suffer from unbelievably complex mental illness and both mental and physical disabilities and who have degenerative, incurable diseases that are impeding their lives more and more every day. I had one client who had ALL of those problems. ALL of them.
I'm very sorry to hear that you had suicide ideation, but I'm very glad to hear that you have recovered. I found it kind of interesting that you say that you "don't ever thinl [you'd] be allowed to go through with it". I don't think anyone would be "allowed" to go through with suicide. I don't think they're asking permission. The people who do ask for permission, e.g. voluntary euthanasia cases for very very ill patients aren't allowed to do so, let alone your average, everyday suicidal person. I think that people who are truly suicidal, and who do not have the desire or the ability to seek adequate assistance, will find away, "allowed" to or not.
Anyway, finally - I'm absolutely fine, but thank you for the concern. As the description says, it was just about me making inappropriate "suicide" jokes all the time as a way for me to cope with difficult things that I had to experience every day at work. Sometimes humour is the only way to cope with things that otherwise really are quite serious. I, personally, am not suicidal, and the only bad things I would have been preventing is myself getting too down about having to deal with really heavy issues every day as my job.
Thanks so much for commenting, hope you liked the art!
If you don't learn to joke about it at least in part, you may find yourself slipping into depression. You have to cope. If you deny yourself humor, your mind will find another outlet for the stress. And it may not be a healthy one.
Perhaps you could use this to your advantage. Humor is often a great tool. The trick is in the approach.